Rituals: One Way to Find Balance
Being a CEO is damn hard. There’s almost no way to keep the demands of your job from spilling into your personal time. That makes everything harder… stress in one part of your life can drive stress in all the other parts. I’ve often said, “Your Job, Your Family, Yourself, pick any two.”
I am not sure I buy that there is an ideal “work/life balance” but I do know that there are ways to make a meaningful effort. I was fortunate to have a great teacher when it came to finding that balance—my dad.
My dad was also an entrepreneur, a clinical psychologist who worked tirelessly to build his private practice. He wasn’t home for dinner most nights. But what he did create rituals that made the time we had together special.
One of my favorite rituals was our Saturday morning breakfasts. On Saturdays when we were very young, my dad would take my brother and me to the hospital cafeteria. We loved the food—bacon, eggs, and pancakes—and he loved the time with us. It was a win-win. For him, it was also a chance to meet doctors and build a referral base for his practice. To this day, I have a strong affinity for hospital cafeteria food. Weird? Maybe. But those memories are priceless.
As we got older, those breakfasts became dinners on Tuesday nights. Our mom would work late on Tuesdays (here’s a post about what I’ve learned from my mom.) and my dad would bring home dinner for my brother and me. It was always the same thing from the same place. Tuna Grinders for he and my brother and a cheese pizza for me from Excellent Pizza in Warwick, RI. I remember it so well. The three of us would sit together, eat, and connect. It was like clockwork.
When my brother and I left home for college and started our own lives, my dad made it a point to call us every Tuesday night. Sometimes it was just a voicemail; sometimes we’d have a long conversation. But it was every Tuesday night, without fail, from the day I left for college in 1990 until he passed away in 2015.
These rituals weren’t just about staying connected—they were about teaching me what it means to be a dad, a husband, a brother, and an entrepreneur. They showed me that I could try to find that elusive “balance” and have meaningful moments with my family.
And you can bet that I’ve continued these rituals with my own sons. When they were young, every Saturday morning we’d go out for breakfast. Now that they’re older and off at college, I try to talk to them every Tuesday night. It’s a simple thing, but it keeps us connected, no matter where life takes us.
Another ritual that’s been crucial for maintaining balance in my marriage is our Saturday night date night. When our boys were little, my wife was home with them all week while I worked long hours. We needed to carve out time for each other, so we made Saturday night our night. We hired a babysitter every week, no matter what. Sometimes we’d rush to our favorite restaurant and grab a seat at the bar; other times we’d just go grocery shopping together. The activity didn’t matter as much as the fact that we were together, uninterrupted.
Rituals like these are what keep me grounded. They create a sense of continuity and connection that helps balance the chaos of being a CEO. They’re a reminder that no matter how busy work gets, there’s always time for the people and things that truly matter.
So, if you’re struggling to find balance, consider establishing your own rituals. They don’t have to be complex or time-consuming. They just need to be consistent and meaningful. Whether it’s a weekly breakfast, a regular phone call, or a standing date night, these rituals can help you find that elusive balance between work and home life.
