When I was a first-time CEO, I was growing frustrated with my team and our performance. I did not have all the skills I needed to be an effective leader, and, if I’m being honest, I was hoping that the team would just “figure it out” and do what I needed them to do without me having to have a hard conversation.

One day, a guy on my team came into my office, closed the door, and asked me straight up for the truth about what was happening. He told me to just share the truth of what I needed from him and not to sugarcoat it.

He called it “RealTalk™”—and yes, he included a trademark! 

It struck me then how refreshing it was to have a framework that allowed for real honesty and allowed me to frame the needs of the business and not make it feel personal. Since that day, I’ve come to cherish RealTalk™.

So, what is it? Simply put, RealTalk™ is when you tell the person you’re working with exactly what you really need and what you really mean. It’s direct, candid, and specific. Sure, it can feel uncomfortable at times, but it’s a crucial tool for effective leadership and team success.

Think about it. How can you expect to get what you need if you aren’t willing to share it? Too many leaders dodge the tough conversations, tiptoeing around issues and hoping for the best. This rarely ends well. More often than not, it leads to frustration, unmet expectations, and stagnation.

RealTalk™ is a gift—a way to ensure your team knows exactly where they stand, what’s expected of them, and how they can improve. It’s about clarity, honesty, and having the guts to be straightforward.

Let me share a couple of examples from my own journey.

1. The Marketing Leader

I had a marketing leader who I loved, but wasn’t delivering the results we desperately needed. We were not hitting our goals, and there was a noticeable disconnect between our discussions and the actual execution. Because we had such a strong personal relationship, I was hesitant to tell them that they just weren’t cutting it.

Starting that conversation wasn’t easy, but it had to happen. I sat down with them and laid it all out—clear as day. I explained our goals, what was currently happening, and where the gaps lay. No sugarcoating. Just straightforward examples of where we were falling short.

To my surprise, they were not only receptive but grateful. They hadn’t fully grasped the disconnect and really appreciated the clarity. We brainstormed a new strategy, set clear expectations, and agreed on a game plan. The results improved significantly in the following months. That tough conversation turned out to be a pivotal moment.

2. The CTO

There was another case at a different company, with our CTO. The team was missing deadlines, and the quality was slipping. I knew this conversation would be a challenge because they were incredibly passionate about their work, and I hadn’t had as much experience on the engineering side of things.

But I didn’t back down from the hard truths. I told them exactly what was happening, how it was impacting the company, and what needed to change. It wasn’t just about pointing fingers; it was about being honest about expectations and listening to their perspective, too.

Once again, the response was positive. They were thankful for the honesty and agreed that we needed to change things up. We set new goals together, and the improvement was immediate.

RealTalk™ isn’t about being harsh or overly critical. It’s about honesty and clarity. It’s about equipping your team with the information they need to succeed and helping them understand what’s expected. This kind of communication builds trust, fosters growth, and leads to better outcomes for everyone involved.

In my experience, employees value RealTalk™. They want to know where they stand and how they can improve. They want to be safe and successful. If you don’t share the truth, how can they be either?

So, the next time you hesitate before having a difficult conversation, remember the power of RealTalk™. Be direct, be honest, and be specific. It’s one of the most powerful tools in your leadership toolkit, and it can truly make a difference.